Meet the Parents
by aoi koneko chan
Summary: This was a Tumblr challenge, but I didn't finish in time. This goes off ask-the-vinsmokes' tumblr Brotherhood AU. Zoro is meeting Ichiji and Niji for the first time and Sanji is nervous as hell. Niji has a lot to say about their relationship, only wanting to look out for his baby brother. Is Zoro good enough for Sanji Vinsmoke?


So. It was a Tumblr challenge, but I didn't finish in time. (っ- ‸ – ς) I decided to post it up here anyway, because it was fun to write and imagine. This goes off ask-the-vinsmokes' tumblr Brotherhood AU in which Ichiji, Niji and Sanji are a cute triplet set of adorable brothers who *secretly* dote on one another. The challenge was to write any piece with the characters and I was going to enter this, but pretty much because of work and organizing living arrangements for !JAPAN! Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ did not get to finish in time. The theme I was going for was 'Meet the Parents' because I feel that Ichiji and especially Niji dote on their youngest bro so much and actually find him fucking adorable. So please enjoy and head on over to ask-the-vinsmokes' tumblr page where there is a lot of feel good art surrounding these adorable brothers!

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 **Meet the Parents**

 **By Aoi Koneko Chan**

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"He's coming today, you know?"

"Yes. I'm aware he is."

"Oh, for heaven's sake Ichiji! This is Sanji's lover. _Sanji's_ lover! You are not prepared in the slightest!"

Ichiji flipped the next page in his book pointedly ignoring Niji's melodrama. One learnt quickly to tune out the excess noise.

"I mean this is Sanji who swore black and blue that he was straight! _STRAIGHT!_ And now he's bring a-a-guuuuy with him!"

"Hmmm, yes I suppose he is."

He flipped another page.

Niji stalked on behind the lounge chair Ichiji had strategically placed facing the window with no standing space in front. He'd learnt early on in their lives to never give Niji a stage. Currently the second born son was pacing his heart out as he worried about the welfare of their youngest brother, but at least Ichiji didn't have to watch it.

"What if he is corrupting our baby brother! What if he's being threatened! Poor Sanji! What kind of monster is he with?!"

"Aren't you dating a man, Niji? It's not proper to make assumptions like this."

"But Taysir is different. He is a _gentleman_. He looks after me and we have a good time and-"

"You just wanted to brag about your boyfriend." Ichiji sighed as he realized he'd been lured into this conversation.

"I just wanted to brag about my boyfriend." Puffed Niji with a wicked grin.

Ichiji shook his head and Niji came to sit on the armrest of the chair. The second son heaved a heavy sigh and Ichiji shifted his eyes to his brother. It was not like him to be so hung up on this.

"But seriously, Ichi… what kind of guy do you think he is? Sanji's so fucking sweet…and so fucking naïve sometimes."

The elder closed his book and turned to face the younger. "I imagine this man will be like all his other lovers."

Niji snorted. "All his other lovers were girls…" He huffed a breath. "Sanji is too kind hearted… I'm worried he's being taken advantage of."

The elder raised a brow. "Do tell." He pressed.

"It's just that with women, Sanji would dote on them hand and foot and be walked all over by those stupid vixens. And can you imagine him like that with a guy? The man will probably take advantage of his sweetness and hospitality and then _violate_ him in the most horrendous ways!"

"It's fascinating to see how your mind works, Niji. Tell me, do you feel violated by Taysir?"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT! TAYSIR IS THE BEST DAMN GUY ON THE PLANET BETTER THAN ANY KNOBJOCKEY OFF THE STREET THAT SANJI COULD BRING HOME!"

"Well. So much for great first impressions then." Came a cool suave voice from behind them. The pair turned around to see Sanji standing in the doorway with a Greek Adonis standing beside him. The younger brother shifted on his feet nervously in agitation. "I thought the point of these things were to actually meet the man before you claim eternal hate on him."

Niji sat frozen on the edge of the armrest as he looked over the man who could only be Sanji's lover. Plain white T-shirt did nothing to hide the rippling muscles beneath, biceps completely unhidden from view with the cut and a strong chiseled jaw set in a strong no nonsense kind of fashion. But most strikingly of all, _green hair._ Not just any kind, it was that deep kind of ocean green that looked completely stunning. Only at Ichiji's prompting – aka, shoving off the edge of the armrest – did he come to himself. He quickly righted himself and stood awkwardly as Ichiji languidly strolled out from his armchair to Sanji and his boyfriend.

"Ichiji. The eldest. Pleasure to finally meet you, Zoro." The man started with a firm handshake to the green haired man.

"Likewise." Zoro responded firmly grasping the other's hand. The two shared a look before they released each other. Niji sidled up alongside his eldest brother. Zoro turned his attention to the younger.

"Hi. I'm Zoro. You must be-"

"Hi Zoro. I'm sexy-I mean- YOU'RE sexy- I mean… I'm Niji."

"-and you're taken!" Sanji cut in with a frown, grasping Zoro's bicep.

"-and completely inappropriate." Finished Ichiji sending a quick glare at the middle son.

Zoro stood awkwardly a moment in the standoff before he caught his bearings again. Ever the ambassador of tact, Ichiji cleared his throat garnering all their attention.

"Shall we move this tête–à–tête to the dining room. Sanji has prepared lunch for us all."

With another soft glare towards his middle brother, Sanji flashed Zoro a small smile and tugged lightly on his arm to lead him to the dining room. Once the rest had seated themselves Sanji excused himself to the kitchen to gather up their meal.

Silence settled over the remaining three like a thick blanket. Zoro sat awkwardly thinking of a safe way to start the conversation. Ichiji beat him to it.

"Well that was an interesting way to get introduced."

"Hah…yeah. Can't say that I've had a meet the family like that before…" Zoro joked along letting some of the tension out.

"And exactly _how_ many 'meet the families' are we talking about, _Zoro_?" Spat Niji.

Zoro blinked.

Was this seriously the second brother who had not two minutes ago exclaimed him as 'sexy'? He chanced a glance at the older brother who had his attention on the second with a quizzical brow raised. He looked back at the middle son who sat, level gaze, waiting for a response.

"Well?" The blond man sassed.

With one more quick check to the elder whose face had become increasingly impassive. Zoro stuttered a response.

"Uh, no…I can't say that there have been many…uh…maybe like four?"

" _Four?_ " Niji questioned icily.

"Uh, more like three."

"Oh, so number four didn't even qualify for meeting the parents now? Or just not _really_ a relationship?"

"Uh…what?"

"You the love 'em and leave 'em type?"

"No, I-"

"Or the string 'em along with hope until something better comes along?"

"Wait. What-"

"Or maybe you're just effing around with Sanji and his fucking adorable weakness to be kind to everyone and look out for them and be the most thoughtful, sweetest thing on the planet!"

The end of his tirade was met with silence save for the heavy panting from Niji as he collected himself after his outburst. Half a minute went by but it felt like hours. Ichiji sat nonchalant as always, he was studying his younger brother with a look of fondness and exasperation but Niji had other things on his mind, namely, how Zoro was going to respond to his allegations and whether or not the man had a good enough excuse to save his ass from a whooping.

One minute stretched on to two before the green haired man spoke.

"He was worried about me meeting you both, you know?" He began. His voice soft, but confident. "I thought, at first, it was because he was ashamed of me…or maybe not _me_ but me being a _man_." He paused again and Niji couldn't help but notice how Zoro had captured Ichiji's full attention and a seemingly impressed look had settled on the elder's face.

"He had been squirrelly for weeks. He was on edge and began listing off a whole bunch of things I could or couldn't do when I met you. I thought he was overthinking things. He finally admitted he was worried that you'd both be too much for me to handle. That I'd turn and run once I finally met 'the family'. But you know what? I couldn't care less."

Zoro let the silence fall and sink in before continuing.

"I'm dating Sanji. Have been for almost seven months now. I don't fucking care what your opinions are on our relationship. I don't care if you hate me. I don't care if you think he deserves better. All I care about is being with him and making _him_ happy. And I _know_ that me getting along with you guys is what he has been worrying about this whole time. I _know_ he wants us to be cool with each other and I _know_ he secretly cares very much about whether or not you approve. But I also know that I can make him happier than anything and to me, his happiness comes first."

Zoro let out a gruff huff. "So, if either of you two have a problem with me, don't bitch about me behind my back. Say it to my face. You're not going to hurt my feelings, but I'll never forgive you if you hurt Sanji's feelings by being dicks about this relationship to him."

Zoro let the silence fall once more. He closed his eyes and sat back with a sense of finality. After a few minutes, the confidence with which he finished his little rant began to seep out of him at the complete and utter lack of response from either brother. He surreptitiously tried to gauge their reactions. Peeking an eye open, he caught Niji's teary expression and his eyes widened in shock.

"OH, THANK HEAVENS!" Wailed the second brother, tears and snot dribbled down his face but he made no move to wipe them away. Zoro turned to see Ichiji's reaction who, although being completely toned down compared to the middle son, was clearing his throat, head cast to the side as if he was trying to reign in his emotions.

Completely floundering in the unexpected reaction he had caused, Zoro had no time to think before Niji began his flowery sobbing confession.

"I am just SOOOOOOO happy right now! I was worried for so long that Sanji had been influenced by me and just said yes to the first idiot who came along! He's just so sincere and gives his all, all the time that people just take advantage of him! I was worried that the guy he was with would take advantage of him and not care at all about him but that was SOOOOOOOOOO SWEEEEEEEEET! Wasn't it Ichi?"

Not expected to be pulled into the conversation, the elder merely coughed and nodded once before collecting himself. "Sanji has always been very earnest. I can't say I shared the same degree of concern as Niji, but I have to say I was not expecting such a grand confession from his boyfriend so early on in their relationship."

Perhaps it was the matter of fact tone, or maybe the way Niji was nodding in agreement and fluttering around having _finally_ found himself a tissue, but Zoro found himself blushing scarlet.

"OH, MY GOODNESS! HE'S BLUSHING!" Niji screeched and Zoro did his level best to control the rise of blood to his cheeks. "I DIDN'T THINK HE COULD GET ANY CUTER!"

And that was when Zoro began praying to be let out of this uncomfortable situation. His prayers were answered in the form of a blond bombshell entering the room.

"I leave for ten minutes and brother is again flirting with my boyfriend." Sanji deadpanned as he laid down the tray he was carrying loaded with a delicious assortment of sandwiches, pastries and drinks. As he set them down, Niji sidled up to his younger brother with excited eyes.

"SANJI! LISTEN TO THIS, ZORO-"

A fist to the gut cut him off and Sanji blinked in shock at his boyfriend who now stood, arm retracting, the remnants of a blush fading from his face. Niji grunted and spun to glare accusingly at the green haired man.

"No fair!" The man whined. "You can't be that cute with us and then refuse to be adorable in front of your lover! You tsundere or something?"

"Tsu-tsundere?!" Zoro spat out, blush back in full force.

"Adorable?" Questioned Sanji, curly brow rising quizzically.

"Wasn't he just so cute, defending Sanji like a knight and telling us to fuck off and not hurt his feelings? Wasn't it adorable Ichi?"

Zoro spluttered excuses and Sanji demanded explanations.

"Leave me out of this Niji." The eldest sighed as he made himself a cup of tea. "You're a fucking drama queen when it comes to this shit and I _will not_ partake in your little dramatical charades." He finished while taking a sip.

"OH, MY STARS! ICHI! You think Zoro was completely endearing too! You hear that Sanji? Your stick-up-the-ass eldest brother also approves of this union! You will be happy and blessed and live wonderful lives together! OMG! I have to go and call Taysir! He needs to come and meet the new fam! I'll only be a second!" He made for the door before backtracking and running up to Zoro who sat apprehensive about what the middle son would do next.

Leaning in and grabbing Zoro's face with two hands, he quickly pressed two kisses, one to each cheek before turning to a stunned Sanji and doing the same. "Don't let this one go, San-chan!" He teased as he was batted away by his younger brother. He turned to dash out of the room.

"When I get back, we will have to talk about when the wedding will be!" He called.

Left in the aftermath of the whirlwind named Niji, the three sat contemplating what had just occurred. Ichiji, unshaken as usual merely stirred his tea as Sanji set about sorting out a drink for himself and his lover. Perhaps it was the sadistic streak within Ichiji, and maybe he wasn't so against the drama Niji so loved, but he couldn't help himself as the swordsman lifted his drink to take a sip to let out one innocent question.

"So Zoro, how many can we expect from your side of the family? A Vinsmoke wedding it usually a huge affair."

The spray of barley tea across the dining hall was reward enough for all the drama he'd been put through today.

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 **Posted 5th August 2017**


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